A Killer's Mindset
by azazelisawesome
Summary: AU: It was at moments like this that L wondered if bringing Light onto the investigation team had been a good idea.
1. Misgivings

It was chilly inside of task force headquarters, and Light and L were arguing again.

This came as no surprise to the rest of the team, who were resolutely pretending not to hear them even as they braced themselves for a fight. The two young men were similar in many ways, but they significantly disagreed on far too many topics to get along all of the time. On this particular occasion, they were arguing about their least favorite topic: Kira.

* * *

L eyed Light irritably, feeling the strong urge to kick him. Not for the first time, the detective wondered what he had been thinking, allowing this 17 year old onto the task force.

It had started back when the Kira case was just beginning. He had just met Yagami and his team face to face, and they had initiated the phase of the investigation that was largely separate from the rest of the NPA. When L interviewed each member of the group in order to determine if any of them were Kira, he questioned Yagami about his family. This was the first time he heard the Chief talk about his son.

If his father's description was even remotely accurate, Yagami Light was the perfect child every parent dreamed of having. Amazing grades in every class, highly skilled at tennis, popular and attractive—hearing the Chief gush about his son was enough to make any other parent jealous. None of this information particularly interested L, except for two things: Light wanted to join the police agency when he was older and he was apparently a genius.

These two facts sparked the detective's suspicions, which were already directed towards anyone connected to NPA officials. Since Kira appeared to have access to the police database, he was either an accomplished hacker or someone who was linked to the NPA. With this information in mind, L began investigating Yagami's son without informing the Chief. After about a week of this, it became clear that Yagami Light was most likely not Kira, though not for a positive reason. Kira's and Light's ideologies about criminals were too different for the connection to make sense. While the mass murderer only killed people if there was significant evidence that they were guilty of a serious crime, L was convinced, based on what he'd learned about the young man in that one week, that Light would murder _any_ potential criminal if _he_ had the power to kill with just a name and a face. (L did not mention this belief to Yagami when he admitted to the older man that he had been investigating Light).

Once it was clear that Light was not the murderer he was looking for, the detective decided to bring him onto the case. Having a fellow genius on the team who could think at the same level as him would be enormously helpful, and keeping Light around would also make it easier to watch his every move with a careful eye. Although he wasn't Kira, there was the chance that Light might go down a similar road at some point if he was left unchecked. L asked Yagami for his consent, which the older man reluctantly gave, torn between the desire to keep his son safe and his pride that the world-famous detective considered his brilliant child a valuable asset.

L and Light's first meeting had gone better than L could have anticipated. The Chief walked his son to task force headquarters, where both of them handed their phones over to Watari before they were escorted to the main room, where the rest of the team was waiting. Unlike the rest of the task force, Light did not question it when L introduced himself as the world famous detective who had challenged Kira. Instead, he actually managed to surprise the detective by confessing that he knew he was being watched over the past week. Additionally, Light correctly deduced that L was having him monitored because he was a suspect in the Kira investigation and that the reason he was here now was because he had been cleared of suspicion.

Although the detective hadn't let it show in his facial expression, L was impressed. Despite his knowledge of the young man's genius, he had not expected him to be so perceptive. The two of them shook hands and Light joined in on the day's investigation, eagerly contributing to the casework and matching L's thought process step for step.

Unfortunately, Light's mindset towards criminals and Kira in general frequently bubbled to the surface. Although he agreed intellectually that Kira should not be allowed to kill whoever he wanted, he also empathized with the murderer because of his own strong feelings about criminals. This point of view often came into conflict with L's unwavering belief that Kira was just another psychotic mass murderer who should be sentenced to death. This led to quite a few fights between the two men. Some of these fights were verbal, while others resulted in physical blows. More than once, the task force members had to forcibly split the two of them up during one of their more intense disagreements about whether or not criminals' lives were worth saving. Whenever one of these "incidents" occurred, L would feel his respect for Light's intellect and skill fade away and be replaced with disgust at the other's lack of respect for life. But then some time would pass, the two of them would calm down, and before long, the detective would find himself engaged in an intriguing philosophical conversation with Light again and he would start to forget his earlier animosity. That is, until another "incident" occurred.

Like today, for example.

It had started when Aizawa rushed into headquarters twenty minutes late and urged them to turn on the television to Sakura TV.

"Kira's killed…again," he panted, covered in sweat and looking like he might have a heart attack himself at any moment. "Sakura TV…it's Lowell Richards."

L quickly turned to his computer, typed in a few commands, and the Sakura TV broadcast popped up on one of the many television screens that covered the wall across from him. A female reporter with long black hair and an oddly excited look on her face held her microphone up to her mouth and spoke quickly towards the camera.

"…yes, Mr. Richards has collapsed! Although we can't be certain of his cause of death, he clutched his chest before he fell, so it is likely Kira who killed him…"

A murmur ran through the task force as Sakura TV replayed a clip from several moments ago. A white man with short light brown hair and a square jaw walked out of a building, escorted by security guards in tight dark uniforms. Quickly, the camera jostled closer to him as the reporter from the beginning of the broadcast shoved her microphone into his face and asked: "How does it feel to be acquitted?"

"It feels wonderful," the man replied, smiling widely in a way that might have been considered charming to a different audience. "I'm glad that the courts have recognized my innocence."

Out of the side of his eye, L saw Light, who was sitting in another chair a few feet away from him, clench his left fist in anger. He could understand what the other man was feeling.

The Lowell Richards case had been in the news for months, largely because of its particularly nasty details. Mr. Richards had been arrested for allegedly abducting three children and their babysitter and torturing them for several days before bludgeoning them to death with a hammer and throwing their bodies into the ocean. When the bodies were discovered, the children's parents were devastated and the nation was shocked; everyone demanded that the police find out who the killer was.

Thanks to camera footage from a convenience store near the house where the four victims were kidnapped, the NPA identified Lowell Richards, an American businessman who was currently living in Japan on a work visa, as a likely suspect. They arrested him and some time later, his trial finally commenced. Several essential pieces of evidence were presented before the court, most notably the hammer that killed the victims and pictures that the killer had taken of his four captives before he murdered them. The evidence was damning and it looked as if Richards was certain to be convicted.

Then it came to light that the officers who had collected this essential evidence had done so illegally. In their eagerness to ensure that the killer was put behind bars, they ignored several significant protocols and violated Lowell Richards' rights. As a result of this revelation, the judge dismissed the evidence from the trial, and the case fell apart. The children's parents were devastated and denounced the court for its incompetence. Everyone was outraged that this man who was almost certainly the murderer was going to walk free, and even L had started to consider temporarily getting involved in the case so that Richards could be convicted.

Apparently, Kira had been outraged at the outcome of the trial, too.

As the task force continued to watch the video, many of them winced as Richards suddenly gasped and clutched at his chest.

"S-Sir? Are you alright? What's wrong?" the reporter asked, trying to move closer to the dying American before she was shoved back by the security men, who were desperately trying to save their client. One of them gave the now unconscious man CPR, but they all quickly realized that it was too late. Lowell Richards lay dead on the concrete, eyes open, with a shocked expression on his face.

The broadcast returned to its original image of the woman with the long black hair standing in front of the camera, holding a microphone. "The police are refusing to comment at this time," she stated. "But it appears that Kira has struck again." The reporter now looked as if she was about to cut off her part of the broadcast, but then she hesitated and stared straight into the camera lens. "This may be a bit unprofessional for me to say," she boldly confessed. "But Kira made the right decision today. It's good to know that _someone_ is willing to pick up the thread that the justice system carelessly dropped." The reporter paused, smiled briefly, and nodded to someone behind the camera. The live feed cut out and a commercial zoomed onto the screen.

A short silence filled the task force headquarters before it was abruptly interrupted by Matsuda. "This may be unprofessional for _me_ to say," he said, staring angrily at the screen, "but I think she's right about this one. I mean," he added, gathering steam, "yeah, it's wrong for Kira to kill people who might not be guilty, but Richards was clearly a murderer, and he was about to—"

"Matsuda-san!" Yagami interrupted. The man in question turned towards his boss and looked slightly alarmed to see the majority of the team glaring at him. The exceptions were L, who had moved from staring at the television screen to staring at his computer screen, and Light, who was looking down at his hands.

"Yes, there was a good chance that that man was a murderer," Yagami agreed, gesturing towards the TV screen. "However, that is not for one citizen to decide! A person's life is too important to take lightly—no single person should be permitted to take that life away, which is why we have these safeguards in place to protect the innocent."

The Chief paused his lecture and watched Matsuda for a reaction; the young man looked like he wanted to argue but was afraid of getting yelled at again. Yagami's face softened and he said gently: "The system isn't perfect—I agree with you there. Those safeguards that are intended to protect innocent people sometimes allow guilty people to walk free." He glanced towards the television screen. "But there are other ways to try to change the system than simply killing anyone who slips through the cracks."

L murmured his assent to the Chief's comments, never taking his eyes away from his computer screen. Yagami directed a small smile at Matsuda, who relaxed a bit as he realized that he was no longer in trouble. The rest of the task force relaxed, too, and all started moving to their computers to look into the details of Lowell Richard's death.

"So what are we going to do in the meantime?"

The question was asked so softly that L suspected no one else had heard it but him. With his legs pulled up to his chest and his feet relaxed on the seat cushion, he swiveled his chair so that he was facing Light. Perhaps in response to this movement, the young man turned his head and met L's stare.

"What are we going to do in the meantime?" he asked again, his voice stronger now. "What are we supposed to do about the criminals that run free while we attempt to patch up our damaged justice system? Any change that might eventually happen will take years to implement, so who is going to give justice to the victims of these violent crimes in the meantime?"

Light looked straight into L's eyes as if daring the other man to answer him, ignoring his father, who had now turned, exasperated, towards him. L met his gaze unwaveringly. "Are _you_ going to give them justice?" Light questioned icily, because he already thought he knew the answer.

"Actually," L admitted, "I was considering taking on the Richards case as a side project while I devoted most of my energy into catching Kira, but his death has made that thought irrelevant." As he said this, L watched as the young man's eyes widened in surprise and felt a sense of childish satisfaction from getting a rise out of him. "But I suppose you're right, Light-kun," he continued. "I can't be everywhere at once, so I choose to devote my time to cases that are interesting to me personally. Since I'm currently unavailable, how about you?" Here L smiled in a way he knew would infuriate Light, and based on the glint in the other man's eyes, his efforts were successful. "Are _you_ going to give these victims justice?" The detective put the tip of his thumb in his mouth and bit down on the nail as he watched his companion fume.

* * *

The rest of the team began eyeing this conversation worryingly. Soichiro briefly considered intervening and chastising Light just like he had chastised Matsuda, but as he had quickly learned after the pair's first serious argument a couple of weeks ago, Light would not be easily swayed from his opinion once he got going. L was the only person who was consistently capable of checking Light's arrogance. However, even as the Chief decided not to say anything and let L take care of the situation, he readied himself to grab his son if the situation became physical again. Across the room, he could see Aizawa and Mogi tensing up as well.

* * *

Light glared at the detective furiously as he spat out his answer: "No. Instead, I'm going to catch the only person who is trying to help them!"

He stood up suddenly, and everyone in the room braced themselves for the fists to start flying. To the majority of the task force's surprise, Light instead turned around sharply and marched out of the room, slamming the door behind him. L pressed down a few of the computer keys to his left so that the television screens now displayed the view from the cameras that were situated outside of the main room. The team watched as Light retrieved his phone, said a brusque goodbye to Watari, and promptly exited the building at a fast walk.

"Phew!" Matsuda exhaled, wiping nonexistent sweat off of his brow. "I thought for sure Light-kun was going to hit him that time." Aizawa elbowed the young man as everyone relaxed and resumed their work.

L remained sitting in his chair, staring at the screens but not paying any particular attention to them anymore. Although he was careful to keep his face neutral, the detective felt his stomach clench tightly. Like him, Light was accomplished at masking the majority of his true feelings, just as he had hidden the full extent of his emotions when he had walked out of headquarters. To the rest of the task force, the teen had simply appeared to be angry, so he naturally left the building in an effort to control his rage and not engage in another altercation.

But L knew better. He had only known Yagami Light for about a month, but he could read the young man just as well as Light could read him. Light had been angry, yes, but more than that, he had emanated an aura of…despair.

" _Instead, I'm going to catch the only person who is trying to help them!"_

L had heard the note of impotent frustration in the other man's voice. The feeling of wanting to give justice to victims of violent crimes, but instead having to work to catch the man who was actually getting results. But what else could Light do? He couldn't join Kira or even actively support him, because that would be wrong.

L flinched minutely as the fist that was closed around his stomach tightened its grip. It was at moments like this that the detective wondered if bringing Light onto the investigation team had been a good idea. His constant exposure to the case appeared to be having more of a negative impact on his point of view than a positive one. As Kira's case continued, Light's anger and despair seemed to grow in size and intensity.

L wondered when Light had first started to agree with the killer's mindset.


	2. Two Geniuses

**Author's Note:**

 **Thank you to the three people who reviewed and the three people who followed! I appreciate your interest in this story and I plan on trying to update it once a week.**

 **Please feel free to include constructive criticism in your reviews, as I would love to make any changes that would improve the story.**

* * *

Light closed the front door of his house behind him with a _click_. He had just finished removing his shoes when his mother walked out of the living room and into the hallway.

"You're home early!" she remarked with a surprised smile. Light noted the raggedy cloth in her hands and guessed that she had been dusting.

"I decided to come home for lunch today," he lied, pasting an innocent expression on his face to make sure that his mother bought the story. As he began quickly walking up the stairs towards his room, his mother yelled up: "Do you want me to cook you something?"

"Don't worry about it, Mom! Thanks!" Light called back to her as he stepped onto the thick-carpeted landing and hurried into his bedroom, quietly shutting the door behind him. He took a deep breath, filling up his lungs as much as he could before slowly exhaling.

Sometimes Light wondered if agreeing to join the task force had been a good idea.

* * *

When his father had first approached him after school one day and asked if he wanted to take a walk, the teen had only been partially surprised when they reached their destination. For the past week, a shadow that he could only see out of the corner of his eye had been following him everywhere he went. Once, Light managed to get a good look at his shadow and saw that is was a man—maybe in his early thirties, short black hair, wearing a suit. This, combined with the experienced way that the man tailed his target, led Light to believe that the man probably worked for some law enforcement agency. Since the NPA was the only police agency that he was in any way associated with, the teen had hacked into the NPA database to investigate why he was being followed. After examining the evidence that Kira had left behind from his experiments and realizing that the murderer's actions seemed to respond to the NPA's investigation, it didn't take long for Light to put the rest of the story together and realize that the person who was tailing him probably wasn't from the police agency, but rather someone who worked for L.

Looking back on his first meeting with L, Light couldn't help but be amused at how differently the situation had turned out than how he had expected. After the Lind L. Tailor incident on TV, Light had gained instant respect for the detective for how easily he had outmaneuvered Kira and forced the murderer to reveal his general location. As soon as his father had come home that day, Light asked if he could join the investigation purely so that he could collaborate with L. The prospect of working with someone who had a level of intelligence that matched his own was highly appealing, as he had never met anyone he could not out-argue. Although his father had initially said no, his tune changed a couple of weeks later, when he informed his son that L had personally requested his assistance on the case.

When Light had walked into task force headquarters that first time, he didn't have any particular preconceived notions about what the detective would look like, which was good, because he was unlike anyone Light had met before. His dark messy hair, fetal sitting position, and circles under his eyes might have put a regular person off, as would the fact that he appeared to be in his mid-twenties and much younger than everyone else on the team (with the exception of Matsuda and Light).

"I'm pleased to make your acquaintance, Light-kun," L had murmured, standing up and walking, hunched-over, towards the other man. "I asked you to join us here today because your father has informed me of your intellectual prowess. I would like to test your mental capabilities myself first, but if they are anything like he described, I would be interested in having you join the investigation team."

 _Liar_ , Light had thought, and absently wondered if this was a test, or if L honestly believed that he would buy this explanation. In response, Light proceeded to explain in exquisite detail how he knew that the other man wasn't telling the entire truth about the reason why he had been invited there today. The rest of the task force gaped at him, surprise emanating from their features; Matsuda even whistled, which earned him a glare from Aizawa.

Light hadn't particularly cared about any of that; he was focused on the detective, watching him closely to see if he could gauge his reaction. In the other man's facial expression, which would have appeared blank and emotionless to anyone else, Light saw a tiny amount of surprise that was quickly overwhelmed by respect. Warmth spread throughout Light's body as he filled with pride at having actually managed to exceed L's expectations.

"Very good, Light-kun," L complimented, and his mouth curled up into a rather disarming smile. "I may not need to test you after all. Please, sit." He gestured to a swivel chair that was situated directly next to his own before resuming his seat in that unusual position. Eagerly, Light sat down and the detective told the rest of the team to catch their newest member up on what had happened in the investigation so far.

* * *

Light filled up his lungs with air again and exhaled more abruptly this time. He thought back to that feeling of warmth and pride at being praised and respected by someone he admired and smiled nostalgically. Those first couple of days working with L had been incredible. Collaborating with someone whose mind operated on the same level as his had been every bit as exhilarating and challenging as Light had hoped. There were times in those first few days when the two of them were practically finishing each others' sentences because they were so completely on the same wavelength.

* * *

It wasn't until the fifth day that Light had realized that the two of them weren't as in tune as he believed.

Kira had killed again that morning: this time it was a serial rapist who had just recently been arrested. Light watched the news report and felt satisfaction knowing that the man had received his due. Normally, he didn't condone Kira's actions, but rape cases were notoriously difficult to prosecute and he was glad that the man had been punished quickly so that there was no chance that he would be set free. Without thinking, he turned to L and said as much, adding that while Kira's methods weren't ideal, anyone would have to admit that he got results.

The look on the detective's face had taken Light aback and still made him cringe inwardly even now. L's eyes narrowed and he stared coldly at the young man next to him. His toes, which hovered over the edge of the swivel chair due to his manner of sitting, curled inward as the detective's entire body stiffened. "Kira is a cold-blooded murderer," he said, and his voice took on an edge that no one on the task force had heard there before. "He passes judgement from a distance and kills without feeling. And yet you approve of him murdering a man because he happened to be a criminal?" L inclined his head in the direction of the television screen, which was now playing a commercial for a generic-looking car. "Our justice system would not have given that man the death penalty had he been convicted, but Kira decided that he deserved death and dealt it out. Since you agree with Kira's actions, do you believe that our courts are not tough enough on crimes like his? Should we be executing more people? What crimes deserve the death penalty, _in your opinion?_ "

The other members of the task force stared at L, stunned at his vehement outburst. The fast-moving gears that had been indicative of L and Light's interaction up until this point froze and iced over.

Although the other man's words burned like a slap to the face, it was the detective's suddenly scathing tone that stung far more for Light. Before this moment, every time L had spoken to him, his voice had been full of respect and interest in what he had to say. Now the detective infused his speech with sarcasm and a mocking tone.

But the absolute worst part of this entire situation was the fact that Light had been wrong: he and L did not think on the same wavelength. He had naively believed that since the detective was a genius like him and was focused on the pursuit of justice like him that the two of them would agree about everything. His initial shock began to fade and was quickly replaced by anger and frustration. Could L really be so narrow-minded about the idea of death as a more common form of justice? Light expected this attitude from his father, a 40-something man who had a strong belief in the traditional way of doing things, but L was young, he thought outside of the box, and the methods he employed to win his cases were unorthodox at best, illegal at the worst. How could he be so hypocritical? Here he was, condemning Kira for taking justice into his own hands, when L himself worked with criminals, ignored human rights, and sidestepped laws all in the name of pursuing justice?

The conversation had degenerated pretty quickly after that. Light had made a biting remark towards the detective, the detective had shot one right back at him, and before long, they were in an all-out argument, with the other team members desperately trying to calm them down. Since that incident, there had been many more intense conversations about Kira between the two of them. Most of those exchanges ended with the geniuses fuming and behaving passive-aggressively towards each other for the rest of the day. A couple of the more memorable incidents ended in actual fights, with both of them gaining bruises, cut lips, and bloody noses for their trouble. Light's father had been unimpressed by these physical altercations, and after the second incident had proceeded to lecture both of the young men on self-control, which had shamed both of them enough to tone it down in later arguments. That scolding was the main reason why Light had decided to walk out of the task force building today; five minutes into the conversation with L and he had already wanted to punch him in the face.

 _Riiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnngg_!

Light jumped at the sound and quickly reached his hand into his pocket to take out the loudly ringing cell phone. Glancing at the caller ID, he felt a wave of dread when he saw that it simply said: "Dad." His father was probably going to scold him, either for agreeing with something Kira did or for walking out of the task force headquarters, but either way, Light was not looking forward to this conversation. He clicked the "answer" button and put the phone up to his ear.

"Hi."

"Hello, Light-kun."

Light almost dropped his phone in shock as the sound of L's voice filtered in through the speaker.

" _L_? I mean, Ryuzaki?" Light corrected himself, remembering that the task force members always referred to the detective by his alias when they were outside of headquarters, just to be safe. "Why—you're calling me from my dad's number?"

"I thought it would be apt to call you on a number that no one would find suspicious," the detective explained. Then, out of nowhere: "I would like to meet you outside of task force headquarters tomorrow."

Light blinked, blindsided by the random request. "Meet me?"

"Outside of headquarters, yes. Maybe at that restaurant you always visited when I was having you followed."

Light couldn't help but crack a smile at L's tactlessness before the full weight of what the detective had just proposed started to sink in. "Wait," he said, a mixture of worry and confusion now seeping into his voice. "You want to go _outside_? Don't you think that's too risky? We still don't have many clues about Kira's identity; someone could see you and—"

"I have considered the risks, Light-kun," L interrupted, "But we have determined that Kira needs a face and a name in order to kill. In the unlikely event that we run into Kira at your favorite restaurant, he still won't be able to eliminate me, so I have decided to take the risk."

Light frowned as silence fell on both ends of the line. This wasn't like L. As far as Light was aware, the detective had never left task force headquarters since they had settled into the building. With Kira almost certainly after his life, this behavior made perfect sense, and other members of the team had even started debating whether or not they should follow his example and seclude themselves off from the public eye a bit more.

What made the detective's current proposal even more odd was that Light had invited L out on multiple prior occasions—to play tennis, to attend an interesting lecture, to visit the opening of a massive new candy store (L had almost agreed to that one)—but the detective had always refused, claiming that it was too dangerous. Yet now, of his own volition, he was suddenly fine with going outside? Something was off.

"Fine, I'll meet you there," Light replied, deciding that he had to know what L was up to. "What time do you want to go? We could meet for lunch at around 12:30—"

"12:30 works for me as well. I will see you tomorrow, Light-kun." Light heard a _beep!_ followed by a dial tone as the detective abruptly hung up.

He sighed, ended the call on his end, and leaned back against the door to his room. His concern for L's odd behavior settled into his stomach, adding to the dead weight that had already camped out there earlier in the day. Light felt like his shoulders were being pressed down by an intense amount of gravity and breathing was becoming much more of a chore than usual. Closing his eyes, he inhaled deep gulps of air and tried to make this strange feeling disappear.

* * *

 _Mogi Kanzo_

 _Ukita Hirokazu_

 _Aizawa Shuichi_

 _Matsuda Touta_

 _Yagami Soichiro_

 _Yagami Light_

Kira eyed the list of names, tapping a pen against the desk. It would take less than a minute to write all of them down in the Death Note, and then the majority of the task force would be dead.

But Kira hesitated.

Even with these six men out of the way, there was still the matter of the two remaining wild cards.

Watari, and more importantly… **L**.

Executing these six men wouldn't kill L. It would just send him farther underground, where he would never come up for air again. Frustration and the now ever present paranoia creeped into Kira's skin, and the killer shuddered. The detective had been unexpectedly difficult to stamp out. At first, Kira had considered writing one of the task force member's names into the Death Note and having _him_ kill L, but upon studying the rules a bit more closely, it became clear that this plan wasn't within the realms of the notebook's power.

The pen slipped out the Kira's grasp and fell onto the floor. The killer sighed, but didn't bother to pick it up. Instead, Kira turned to the shadow hovering in the corner of the room and asked: "I don't suppose you've got any good ideas? Maybe you could consider being helpful for once."

The Shinigami snickered. "Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk! Where's the fun in that?"


	3. Friend

**Author's Note:**

 **Thank you so much to the people who reviewed and followed! I'm glad that you're liking it so far!**

 **Once again, please feel free to leave constructive feedback in your reviews. I hope you enjoy this next chapter!**

* * *

When L padded into the restaurant at 12:30 the next day, he was unsurprised to see that Light was already there. In addition to his other "perfect" qualities, the teen believed that arriving slightly early to social functions was common courtesy; he was often one of the first people to walk into task force headquarters each morning.

On this particular afternoon, Light was sitting at his usual booth, which was secluded off from the rest of the restaurant. He was already looking over a menu and sipping water out of a tall glass. This seating arrangement was particularly advantageous to L, since it would mean that fewer people would see him. As the detective approached the booth, he passed a waiter who ogled L as he walked by. Even in regular circumstances, L would stand out from a crowd, but on this particular occasion, he supposed that he must look even stranger than usual.

As the detective reached the table, Light glanced up at him and immediately choked on his water. "What—" he coughed, reaching for a napkin to dry off the front of his now wet shirt. "What are you _wearing_?"

L slid into the opposite side of the booth and drew his knees up to his chest. "A mask," he replied, reaching up to touch the bottom of the piece of plastic that hid his face.

"Yes, I can see that," Light remarked dryly, still dabbing at his neat shirt to try to remove some of the excess water. "Who is it supposed to be? It looks all lopsided and weird."

The detective wasn't sure whether he should feel insulted or amused. "It's supposed to be me."

Since Light looked like he was about to start choking again, L added: "Someone I know made it for me. He has only met me once, so his artistic rendition of my face may be a bit lacking."

"Maybe," the teen agreed, and his mouth twitched as he struggled not to laugh.

Feeling slightly hurt now, L continued haughtily, "Actually, it is preferable that the mask does not portray my features precisely, since it is intended to be a disguise."

The smile faded from Light's face and was replaced by an expression of curiosity. The young man leaned forward in his seat, towards the detective. "Why did you suggest this, anyway? We could have just talked at headquarters."

L decided not to answer. He didn't want to risk Light storming out of the restaurant before he could broach his primary topic of conversation. Instead, L picked up Light's menu with the tips of his fingers and turned to the dessert section. "Have you decided on what you are going to eat?"

The teen made an impatient noise at having his question ignored, but to L's relief, he slowly sank back into his seat and temporarily dropped the subject. "Yes, and I've already ordered, too. I got here earlier than I expected."

L nodded absently, examining his options with growing interest. He'd had no idea that this restaurant had so many types of cake…his eyes alighted on the picture of strawberry cheesecake and he decided to go with that.

After calling the waiter over (who tried very hard not to stare) and placing his order, the detective remarked on the restaurant's impressive cake selection. This topic of conversation lasted the two geniuses all of 30 seconds before an uncomfortable silence settled between them. L could see by the teen's occasional fidgeting that he was impatiently waiting for him to explain what they were doing here. He would really prefer to wait until the food came, but Light's agitation was growing exponentially with every second, so he decided that it would be better to begin this conversation now.

"You walked out of task force headquarters yesterday," he said, meeting the teen's eyes to let him know that he was ready to start talking.

Light straightened up slightly in his seat and replied flatly, "Yes." He stared at L defiantly, making it clear that the ball was entirely in the detective's court.

L licked his lips a bit nervously before continuing. "Before I ask you this question, Light-kun, I would like you to agree that you will remain civil when you answer me."

The teen's eyes narrowed, but he nodded. "Fine, I'll try to be polite. How polite I am might depend on your question, though."

L inclined his head in acceptance, and the dread that had been building in his stomach began to cause him physical pain. A part of him wanted to avoid this conversation and pretend that this had all been an elaborate wind-up, but he knew that if he didn't ask this question now, he might have to face far more regret later.

"Why did you decide to join the task force?" L asked finally. "You don't seem particularly dedicated to catching Kira and you were under no obligation to accept my offer, so why did you agree to become a part of the team?"

Of the reactions that L had been anticipating, the one he received was unexpected. Light's face turned a shining red and he immediately broke eye contact to stare at his right hand, which was gripping his water glass. Was he…embarrassed? The detective could not fathom why the question would cause Light to feel this particular emotion, but it made him more curious to hear his answer.

After clearing his throat and making a show of rearranging the napkin on his lap, the teen finally responded. "I—" he said, stuttering, "I…wanted the opportunity to work with you." The shade of red grew even brighter.

L felt his own face heat up out of surprise at the unexpected compliment. He was aware that Light had heard of "the great detective L" before he joined the investigation team, but he had not entered into his calculations the possibility that the teen might have had such a high opinion of him. "I'm flattered, Light-kun," the detective stated sincerely. "Part of the reason why I asked you to join the task force in the first place was that I found the idea of having another genius on the team appealing. I can say with some confidence that working with you has been rewarding, and I hope you agree."

Light nodded, but he looked into L's eyes again with a facial expression that mirrored the dread that had been growing in the detective's stomach. "Why do you sound like you're letting me go?"

L sighed quietly. He had forgotten who he was talking to. "I'm sorry, Light-kun, but I think I need to rescind my initial invitation." He swallowed painfully and now he was the one avoiding the other's eyes. "I no longer believe that having you as a part of the task force is wise."

A pause followed this statement. "Is this because I walked out yesterday?" asked Light, who had stiffened in his seat.

The detective hesitated. "Partially," he admitted. "But really, I'm saying this because of a much larger problem that I haven't properly dealt with until now." L steadily met the teen's gaze again, willing himself not to sound judgmental. "You support Kira."

Light immediately opened his mouth to protest, but L quickly cut him off. "Before you say anything, Light-kun, I would like to remind you that no one else will hear what we discuss today. Your father and the rest of the team are back at headquarters and Watari is waiting outside of this restaurant. I've already checked for cameras, and there are none, so please do not lie to me when we both know I'm right."

* * *

Light's heart thumped rapidly in his chest as panic overtook him. L had asked him to be honest, as if that was an easy thing to do! Although Light occasionally liked to question whether or not everything Kira did was actually wrong, he never outright claimed to support the killer. Why would he? Everyone he knew agreed that Kira was a murderer, and any other opinion would be met with disappointment and scorn. Light thought back to that look in L's eyes during their first argument and wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear. It was better to pretend that he was just like them, that he thought the same as them and wanted the same things as them; otherwise they would hate him.

But unlike the rest of the task force, Light realized, L wasn't under any delusions. The detective could see straight through his façade of moral correctness to his real opinions. Telling the truth in this scenario wouldn't hurt their relationship since Light wouldn't be telling him anything that he didn't already know. Additionally, if L was being honest about their lack of surveillance, then the detective was the only person who would ever hear his admission.

Light came to a decision, steeled himself, straightened up, and took a deep breath before speaking.

"Yes. I support Kira."

The two of them considered each other for a moment as despair filled Light's chest and once again restricted his breathing. He finally said it. Now any remnants of respect that the other man had felt for him would probably fade away, just as Light's participation on the task force was soon going to become a distant memory. If he was completely honest with himself, Light thought that losing L's esteem might actually be worse than getting kicked off the investigation team. Despite their occasional quarrel, he held an immense regard and liking for the detective. Watching that relationship disintegrate into nothing was an even more frightening prospect than admitting to his father that he agreed with Kira. He waited, dreading L's reaction.

He was somewhat startled when the detective's body language softened and relaxed; the other man now uncurled a bit from his tightly wound position. "Thank you for your honesty," L said. "I believe you understand why I can no longer have you on the task force."

Light nodded. "It's too much of a conflict of interest." He shrugged abruptly, trying to shake off his depression and pretend that this conversation wasn't punching him in the gut. "It's fine. I still have college, so I'll have something to occupy my time."

At this moment, their waiter finally returned with their food. Light had ordered miso soup, while L had chosen a large piece of strawberry cake that was probably intended to feed several people. For a brief, blissful moment, the teen forgot about their current conversation as he watched, distantly amused, as L slid the mask up slightly, plucked the strawberry off the top of the cake piece, and plopped it into his mouth. The detective's obsession with sweets had been evident from Light's first day of work on the investigation, when Watari had brought in a cart covered in tiny, professionally prepared confectionaries that L had proceeded to devour. Although Light felt a bit sick to the stomach at the idea of eating that much sugar, this particular characteristic of the young man sitting across from him had always been an excellent source of entertainment at headquarters. Light would make a comment about L's inevitable weight gain, the detective would respond with biting remark about the other's intelligence levels, and the back-and-forth would continue for as long as the rest of the task force was willing to put up with it.

The bottom dropped out of his stomach as Light remembered that he would probably never experience that interaction again, and suddenly the miso soup looked quite unappealing.

"You realize," L said, slipping a fork into his cake, "That you will no longer be permitted to enter task force headquarters. I must also ask you to refrain from speaking to anyone about the case."

"Obviously," Light replied, feeling slightly insulted that the detective thought he would go blabbing to people about the investigation. "I won't tell anyone information about you, either, so you don't need to worry about that."

His irritation must have been more visible than he intended, because L paused for a moment before placing the forkful of cake into his mouth. "I wasn't worried about that," he confessed as he began to chew. "You may support Kira, but for you, that is not quite the same thing as being against me." The detective quietly licked the remaining frosting off his fork and Light watched him out of curiosity of where he was going with this line of thinking. "Maybe I am wrong about this," he elaborated, curling his body in marginally as he said it, "but I believe that we are friends. Or at least, I would consider you my friend."

The despair that had been clawing its way through Light's stomach froze. Light stared at the young man across from him, and for the first time since this conversation began, he started to feel something resembling hope.

"I also think of you as my friend," Light agreed, cringing inwardly at how cheesy that sounded.

"Thank you," L replied. He smiled, and Light felt his depression begin to melt away. Despite what Light had admitted, despite their fundamentally different ways of thinking about Kira…L still had respect for him. He still liked him as a person. Suddenly, the prospect of leaving the investigation team no longer seemed so miserable.

Now halfway through his cake slice, the detective reached into his pocket with his free hand and pulled out a slip of paper. "I was thinking that I could give you this should you want to talk to me."

L handed the piece of paper to the teen with the tips of his fingers. Light took it and saw that a phone number had been scrawled across one side. "That is my personal cell phone number," the detective explained, eyeing Light carefully, as if gauging his reaction. "Watari is the only other person who has it, so I'll need you to give that back to me once you've memorized it."

Light looked at the numbers for several seconds before handing the slip of paper back to L. "So, what, I can just call you at any time?" he teased, his mood lightened considerably. "If I do poorly on a test, I can just call and rant to you about how stressed out I am?"

"You never perform poorly on tests, Light-kun," L reminded him, a smile curling up his lips again. "And I would prefer that you use this number sparingly; if anyone is watching you, they might grow suspicious about who you are calling at all hours of the day."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to harass you." Light laughed and the two of them finally fell back into that easy back-and-forth that had been absent since the previous day. "Besides, since I was going to meet Kira's #1 Target for lunch today, I carefully observed my surroundings on my way here. No one followed me to the restaurant."

"I'm sure you're right. Your observation skills _are_ superb, Light-kun," the detective agreed, and Light honestly couldn't tell whether or not he was being sarcastic. Narrowing his eyes at his friend, the teen finally took a sip of his miso soup only to find that it had grown a bit lukewarm. Once again losing his appetite, Light pushed the bowl away from him, called their waiter over, and asked him to bring a take-out container and the bill to their table.

"Should we go back to task force headquarters and tell them that I'm leaving?" he asked later as he spooned soup into the container.

L nodded and inquired, "Would you prefer to lie to them about why you are no longer participating in the investigation?"

At the thought of how the other members of the investigation team would react to his real reason for leaving, especially his father, Light's stomach squirmed. "Yes, that would be my preference. I'll just tell them that the case is starting to take a toll on my studies and I need a break. That should be a decent enough excuse for now."

Their conversation quieted down. Light was about to make a comment about the way that L was childishly scraping off the tiniest bits of frosting that remained on his plate when the detective surprised him by speaking first. "I don't dislike you for supporting Kira," he said abruptly, licking a sliver of frosted sweetness off his fork. "You are hardly alone in your opinion. Many people agree with Kira and that number is growing every day."

Light couldn't help but raise his eyebrows in disbelief. "Oh _please_ ," he commented a bit scathingly. "You _hate_ me when I talk about Kira. And since when does everyone doing something make it okay?"

L smirked slightly and met the teen's gaze with a twinkle in his eyes. "Light-kun, I was attempting to make you feel better. I suppose lying to you is just as pointless as you lying to me."

"No kidding," Light replied dryly. "Honesty works better on you—trust me."

A few minutes later, they paid for their food and walked out of the restaurant together, where they were met by Watari, who smiled graciously and ushered them into the limo he had pulled up to the front entrance.

"You know, this whole "going out incognito" thing would work better if you didn't drive around in cars like this," Light observed as he pulled on his seat belt.

"I will take that advice under consideration, Light-kun," L shot back, settling comfortably into his seat and cheerily grabbing a strawberry Ramune from the mini fridge in the back of the limo. Light rolled his eyes and wondered how much L actually cared about keeping his identity a secret with his tendency to draw attention to himself.

 _Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!_

The two geniuses glanced up as Watari, who had taken his seat in the driver's position, answered his phone. "Yes?"

He was silent for a moment, then he turned around and passed the phone to L. "There has been a development in the investigation."

L grabbed the phone and held it up to his ear by the tips of his fingers as Light watched with interest. "What happened?" A moment of silence passed, immediately followed by: "When?"

Another pause, then: "We're on our way." The detective ended the call. "Watari, please drive us to task force headquarters as quickly as you can." Watari nodded his assent and started the car.

"What happened?" Light asked, echoing his friend's earlier question.

L had his thumb nail in his mouth again, and he bit down on it hard as his eyes sharpened with intense thought. "Kira has killed again," he said at last, staring at the back of Watari's seat without really looking at it.

"But something is different about this one," Light assumed, forgetting for the moment that he was technically no longer on the task force.

Apparently the detective had a short memory as well, because he immediately responded, "Yes. This latest victim wasn't a criminal."

"Was the victim a part of law enforcement? Maybe he was on Kira's trail and was killed because he got too close." Light knew that this was probably wishful thinking. Kira rarely made mistakes. Then again, it was highly unusual for him to eliminate anyone who wasn't a criminal.

"No, she wasn't a part of law enforcement," L replied, and he turned a puzzled look onto Light. "Actually, she was a model."


	4. Nice to Meet You

**Author's Note:**

 **I'm sorry for uploading this chapter late! I was busy this week and as a result, the story got a bit held up. My apologies.**

 **Many thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and followed. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Again, constructive criticism is welcome.**

* * *

When Light and L stepped into task force headquarters approximately 20 minutes later, they were welcomed with surprise by the rest of the team, who had not expected them to arrive at the exact same time.

"I'm glad you're both here," the Chief said, moving forward to greet them. "The press is running wild with this story already, speculating about why she was killed. We'll need to move quickly."

"Indeed," L agreed, grabbing the back of his usual chair and climbing onto it, tucking his knees close to his chest. "What do we kn—"

The detective paused as he finally remembered the conversation at the restaurant. In his haste to reach headquarters and investigate this new development in the case, he had forgotten that Light was not supposed to have access to this type of information anymore. L turned to look at his friend and the teen met his gaze with disappointment but understanding.

"Actually, I have an announcement to make before you get started," Light declared, gazing around at the team. Everyone on the task force looked back at him curiously. He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "I've decided that I'm going to leave the investigation team." Before anyone could protest, he explained, "Being a part of the task force has been an amazing opportunity for me, but I'm starting to struggle with maintaining high grades in my college classes, and those grades are essential for ensuring my future career."

His eyes suddenly locked with L's, and the detective stiffened out of surprise as Light bowed to him. "Thank you so much for this opportunity, L, but I don't believe that working on this task force is the best choice for me anymore. Please accept my apology and my resignation." The teen shot L a look of contrition, as if he felt guilty about disappointing him.

L felt the hairs on his arms stand up. Light's acting ability never failed to impress him.

"Light—" Yagami began, his forehead creased with concern and confusion, but L waved him off.

"It's quite alright, Yagami-san," he reassured the Chief. "Your son simply wants to consider his future." L nodded towards his friend. "Thank you for your assistance, Light-kun. I'm afraid that if you're serious about this, then I must ask you to leave."

Light straightened up, inclined his head in appreciation, and marched out of task force headquarters, with his perplexed father in close pursuit. L sighed inwardly. While this measure was necessary, he still felt regret that he was no longer able to work with his friend on this case.

Curling his body inward even more and biting down on his thumb nail, L swiveled back to face his computer. "What do we know?" he asked brusquely, not wanting to think about the conversation that was probably happening just outside of the room.

Most of the other task force members still looked disoriented at the abrupt change in circumstances, but to L's relief, the level-headed Mogi had already recovered. "Approximately one hour ago, a young model named Amane Misa died of a heart attack," the broad-shouldered man explained calmly, pressing a few keys on the computer closest to him. On one of the large screens that was hung on the wall opposite them, a picture of a young woman appeared. The detective examined her image carefully. She was blonde, petite, and pretty; he wasn't surprised that she had been a model. In what was clearly one of her promotional pictures, she waved coyly at the camera, tilting her head to one side and smiling sweetly.

Matsuda made a noise that sounded a bit like he was choking before saying, "She was young—almost as young as Light-kun. It's so depressing…"

For once, no one scolded Matsuda, because they all shared the same sentiment.

"As far as you know, she hadn't committed any crimes?" L asked Mogi. The broad-shouldered man shook his head.

"Not that we've been able to find so far. We're still in the process of searching, so we won't know for certain until we've conducted a thorough investigation."

"Very well then," L decided. "In that case, we'll make it easier by splitting the work in two. Mogi-san, Matsuda-san, and Ukita-san—look into her history and see if you can dig up anything illegal. The rest of you," he glanced around at Aizawa and the Chief, who had just reentered the room, "Make a list of everyone that she knew. If Amane Misa is not guilty of a crime, then the probability of her knowing Kira personally goes up considerably. We will comb through the list, determine the people who are likeliest to be Kira, and then figure out how to proceed from there. Let's do our best."

The rest of the team murmured their agreement and started working. L began searching for people in Amane's life on his computer all while trying hard not to think about the comparison Matsuda had made between Light and the now dead model.

* * *

Light hurriedly walked down the street, practically jogging in his efforts to get as far away from task force headquarters as possible. He had known that leaving would be challenging and raise questions that he didn't want to answer, but he had not expected lying to his father to be as painful as it was.

When Light had marched out of the main room of headquarters 15 minutes earlier, he had been swiftly pursued by his father, who grabbed his arm. "Son, what's going on?" he asked worryingly, turning his child around so that the two were facing each other. "Why didn't you tell me that you were struggling with your studies? I thought you had perfect grades."

Light considered his answer for a moment and then carefully infused his tone with sheepishness and a touch of shame. Deceiving his father was going to be a bit more challenging than tricking the rest of the task force. "I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't want to tell you that I was having trouble because I thought I could handle it. Actually," he added, inspiration striking, "it wasn't until L and I talked today that I fully realized how large this problem is. We met for lunch and he asked how school was going and it all just …spilled out. During our discussion, I think we both realized that my studies were starting to take a significant backseat to the Kira investigation, which could spell trouble for my future career if I don't do something to change it. In the end, we decided that it would be best for me to quit the team for the moment, and then maybe check in a few months from now to see if I can handle it then, assuming you haven't caught Kira by that point."

Light observed his father's shoulders relax slightly and knew that he had succeeded. "All right," the middle-aged man conceded, letting go of his son's arm. "Your studies are important; I agree with that. Just let me know if you're having difficulty with school from here on out. It may have been a while since I attended college, but I still know my way around a textbook." His father smiled warmly and Light returned the smile as the tension between them dissipated. They both excused themselves and the Chief headed back into the main room while his son exited the building as fast as he could.

Light's stomach clenched now just thinking about that brief conversation. Over the years, he had told the occasional small lie to his father, stretched the truth a bit, or omitted pertinent information, but he hadn't outright invented a story since he was a young child. Light regretted lying so blatantly, but he knew that the alternative would be far worse. If he outright admitted to supporting Kira, the teen was fully aware of how disappointed his father would be in him. Unlike L, the Chief wouldn't be able to look past such a glaring flaw in his perfect son, and he would feel ashamed instead of understanding. Ultimately, Light decided, living with the guilt at having lied was easier than losing his father's respect.

Light continued walking down the street, trying to take his mind off his father by thinking about the case. Before leaving the main room, he had noticed a name, "Amane Misa," on one of the computer monitors. Although he might not _officially_ be on the task force anymore, that didn't mean it was wrong to look into the murder a bit on his own, right…?

* * *

Light sighed deeply, leaning his head against his hand and staring blankly out at his college campus. Students hastened to their classes, tiny flies buzzed in the grass, and the teen sat at a picnic table in one of the rare shaded locations in this open green section of campus. He was bored out of his mind.

When Amane Misa had been found dead of a heart attack two weeks ago, Light had expected his life to speed up. What he hadn't accounted for was how dull not being a part of the investigation would be. Initially, the teen had looked into the model on his own, trying to find out if any of the people around her could potentially be Kira. After about a day of this, he had received an unexpected phone call from L, who as it turned out was monitoring his computer activity with some equipment he'd had Watari install.

"Maybe I wasn't clear enough when I said that you were off this case," the detective had drawled in a vaguely amused tone. "I meant that you are not permitted to investigate period."

"Oh, come on, Ryuzaki!" Light had snapped irritably. "I'm not interfering with your investigation; I'm just doing some work on my own time!"

"I'm sorry, Light-kun," L responded, not sounding sorry at all, "But I'm afraid that I cannot allow you to do that. If you choose to continue this course of action, I will inform your father of what you are doing instead of studying for your classes."

Light couldn't quite remember what he had said next, only that it had involved a lot of cursing. He had hung up abruptly and made a mental note to pour salt into L's coffee the next time they met.

The teen sighed again and squinted down at his backpack, which was stuffed full of textbooks, folders, and stray pieces of paper. He still had some work to get done, and he was filled with dread at the thought of slogging through the inane pile of busywork that his professors assigned him each day. For a regular person, this homework might be seen as a challenge that would help him/her learn. To Light, it was just another set of assignments that ate up his time and did absolutely nothing to stimulate his stagnant mind.

When the teen had agreed to leave the investigation team, he had believed that he could handle it. He thought that his classes and the occasional discussion with L on the side would be enough to keep him awake each day. To Light's dismay, he realized that he had been naïve in both assumptions. Although a few of his classes were interesting, they were few and far between, and since Amane's death, L had been largely unavailable. Light had called him once, about six days ago, and had been met with a "My apologies, Light-kun, but I am currently too busy to talk to you, at least for today. I must ask you to call me another time." This, added to the fact that his father hadn't been home in the last several days, led Light to believe that they had finally found a lead in the case. The case that he was no longer a part of.

Light looked down at his phone, which he had placed on the surface of the picnic table. After the mind-numbing boredom of this morning's classes, all he wanted to do was talk to L. Unfortunately, the teen realized that he would most likely be met with the same response as the last time. All the same, maybe it was worth calling him anyway, just in case…

 _Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiing! Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!_

Light jumped as the phone started ringing. Leaning forward, he read the caller ID and saw that it said "Dad."

 _Hmmm…_ he pondered. _It could go either way on this one_. Neither his father nor L had any particular reason to be calling him at this moment as far as he knew, so the odds seemed about fifty-fifty. Light picked up his phone and answered, "Hello?" _Please be L,_ he thought. _I'm in desperate need of some mental exercise._

A moment of silence echoed on the other end of the phone.

" _Hello, Yagami Light._ " Light straightened in surprise at the sound of a voice that had clearly been run through a filter that sounded deeper and less professional than L's scrambler. " _Please remain calm and do not alert anyone to your current situation._

" _I am Kira._ "

 _Thump-thump. Thump-thump._ _Thump-thump._ Light's heart began pounding frantically, as if in preparation for the heart attack that seemed a short distance away.

 _Wait_ , the teen thought desperately. _He might not be Kira. Maybe this is actually L, trying to test me or something._

"How do I know that you're telling the truth?" Light asked.

" _You'll know for certain shortly. Before we get to that, I would like to broach the primary reason why I am contacting you._ "

Light swallowed, which was difficult considering how dry his throat had become. "Okay. What do you want?"

" _I've been observing you, Light,_ " Kira replied, and the teen uncomfortably noted how the killer dropped the honorific, " _and I have learned that you are somewhat more open to my ideas than the other members of the task force._ "

Shock jolted through Light's system. _How does he know that?!_ He had always been careful to avoid expressing that particular opinion, even at college. The only people who might know about his point of view were L and— Light's stomach dropped. L and _the task force_.

" _With this in mind, I have decided to contact you in order to determine if you would be willing to work with me._ "

It took a moment for the gears in the teen's brain to kick in. "You—what? You want me to—" Light stumbled over his words as he attempted to make sense of what Kira had just suggested. "What—What makes you think that I would be interested in that? Just because my feelings towards what you're doing are…complicated…doesn't mean that I'm comfortable with killing people for you."

" _Don't worry, Light,_ " Kira reassured him, and Light flinched in slight irritation this time at the lack of an honorific. " _I don't need you to kill anyone; I just need your assistance in one particular matter. Does that sound acceptable to you?_ " His tone turned slightly mocking at the end, and the teen quickly felt some of his fear transform into anger.

"Depends on what you want me to do," Light answered more boldly this time, bracing himself for something unpleasant. "What do you need me for?"

" _It's a simple task, really. At least, it is for_ you _._ "

A pause.

" _I need you to find out what L's real name is._ "

* * *

As Watari placed the tray of assorted chocolates on the table next to his charge, he noticed with concern that something appeared to be wrong. L had gone pale, even paler than usual, and he was staring blankly into space while clutching tightly to the cord of a set of headphones he had placed over his ears. What worried Watari the most was the expression on his charge's face: it had been years since he'd seen L afraid.

And right now, he looked absolutely terrified.


	5. Helplessness

**Author's Note:**

 **Once again, thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and followed! I think there was a temporary problem with reviews being posted, but it seems to be working now.**

 **As usual, please feel free to provide constructive criticism in your reviews. I hope you enjoy this part!**

* * *

The concept of "friendship" was still quite alien to L when it came to his personal experiences.

He generally understood the idea behind it. Friends were people who understood each other and cared about one another, doing things together and enjoying each other's company. L had witnessed friendship in various forms at Wammy's through the relationships between the children and that between Watari and Roger. Personally, he had never experienced it and never really felt the need to experience it. Solving cases was more important than developing close relationships; besides, befriending someone came with risks that could undermine his work as a detective. Overall, L felt that friendship was not something he needed and that his bond with Watari was enough.

Then he met Yagami Light, and that opinion got thrown out the window.

L had not expected such strong feelings of comradery to take root upon spending time with Light, and he had been even more surprised when the teen reciprocated his friendship. Suddenly, that joy that L often saw on the children's faces at Wammy's when they played with each other became a regular part of his routine—he got to experience it every day working on the Kira case with Light.

This was just another part of the reason why firing his friend from the task force had been painful; it meant that they had not be able to interact as much as he wanted. But all the same, the two had managed to talk a couple of times, and L hoped that once the Kira case was solved they would be able to have more discussions.

To keep an eye on the teen until then, L had asked Watari to install several pieces of surveillance equipment in Light's computer and phone. A "normal" person might call this stalking, but L preferred to think of it as taking reasonable precautions. Every time Light called someone or received a call, the detective listened in. This quickly became boring, as the only people who talked to the teen over the phone besides him were his family members and the occasional classmate.

On this particular day, L was tapping his toes against his swivel chair's seat cushion, impatiently waiting for Watari to arrive with his chocolates, when a notification appeared on his computer screen to let him know that Light was receiving a phone call. Pointedly ignoring Matsuda, who was going on about his date the previous night, L picked up his pair of headphones and placed them over his ears so that he could listen in on his friend's phone conversation as usual.

" _Hello?_ " he heard Light ask.

" _Hello, Yagami Light."_

L froze at the sound of a voice that had been run through a scrambler.

" _Please remain calm and do not alert anyone to your current situation. I am Kira._ "

L's legs abruptly fell off his chair and crashed into the table across from him. Out of the side of his eyes, he could see that several members of the task force had turned to look at him, startled, but he ignored them just as he ignored the pain in his legs. Instead, the detective leaned forward in his seat, intently listening to the exchange. _Is this the real Kira, or a fake?_

" _How do I know that you're telling the truth?_ " Light demanded, and L was pleased to hear that his friend was thinking on the same wavelength as him.

" _You'll know for certain shortly. Before we get to that, I would like to broach the primary reason why I am contacting you._ "

" _Okay. What do you want?_ "

" _I've been observing you, Light,_ _and I have learned that you are somewhat more open to my ideas than the other members of the task force._ "

L stopped breathing. How could Kira know that? Yes, Light supported Kira, but he was not the type of person who would publicize that information. So how did Kira get ahold of that knowledge?

An idea started to form in L's mind, and his skin grew cold.

" _With this in mind, I have decided to contact you in order to determine if you would be willing to work with me._ "

A thrill of fear ran through the detective's frame at this suggestion. He tried to convince himself that he did not need to be concerned. Even though Light supported Kira mentally, that was not the same as actively working with him and killing people.

Fortunately, his assertion appeared to be correct. " _You—what? You want me to— What—What makes you think that I would be interested in that? Just because my feelings towards what you're doing are…complicated…doesn't mean that I'm comfortable with killing people for you._ "

L nodded slightly to himself. Good. Light was thinking this through.

" _Don't worry, Light,_ _I don't need you to kill anyone; I just need your assistance in one particular matter. Does that sound acceptable to you?_ "

The detective felt the sharp pain of dread in his stomach.

" _Depends on what you want me to do. What do you need me for?_ "

" _It's a simple task, really. At least, it is for_ you _._ "

His stomach plummeted.

" _I need you to find out what L's real name is._ "

Several seconds passed, and L remained exactly where he was, frozen in place and staring at the sound waves on his computer screen that represented Light's harsh breathing. So that was what Kira wanted. He needed L's name, and he had somehow discovered that Light and the detective were friends, so he used that knowledge to his advantage. The idea that had sprouted in the back of L's mind grew more probable.

Light wouldn't agree, L thought. They were friends. The detective might be new to the concept of friendship, but he understood that there was a certain amount of loyalty and trust involved. If Light had been honest during that conversation at the restaurant, then he wouldn't betray him.

Then again…

The dread was burrowing deeper and deeper into L's stomach now. Light was a good actor. Yes, L often thought that he could always tell was the teen was thinking, but that could be a false perception. As his friend had admitted himself, Light supported Kira and wanted him to succeed to some degree. The only real threat to that success was L. Body tense and breath shallow, the detective waited to hear the teen's response.

Light broke the silence. " _You want me to help you kill L_?" he asked, and L experienced a jolt of hope at the sound of indignation in his friend's voice. " _An innocent person? I thought you only killed criminals."_

" _Innocent_?" Kira responded, and suddenly the other end of the call was filled with the sounds of filtered laughter. " _L is trying to stop me from bringing criminals to justice! That makes him just as culpable for their crimes!_ "

" _He's doing his job,_ " Light defended him. " _He's fighting criminals, like you; L's just doing it in a different way._ "

A short silence passed.

" _I assume this means that you are refusing my offer?_ " Even with the scrambler, the detective felt the coldness in Kira's voice. The dread that had temporary vacated the premises with Light's refusal returned and a new possible outcome to this conversation abruptly surged into his mind.

 _Kira's going to kill him_.

A wave of panic and terror far greater than what he had experienced when he thought that Light might betray him overwhelmed L's senses, so much so that he barely noticed that Watari had finally arrived with the chocolates. For the first time in his life, he had gained a friend; now he was going to lose him because of Light's loyalty. L knew, with a rush of despair, that Kira couldn't let the teen live now. He would spill everything to the task force if he did and Kira would be compromised, which left the killer with no better option than to eliminate him.

Helplessness overwhelmed L's thoughts as he sat uselessly in his chair and waited to hear his only friend gasp in pain.

" _I'm sorry, but yes,_ " Light replied. " _I don't have a problem with you killing criminals, but I am not going to help you murder an innocent person._ "

" _Very well._ " Kira said these few words with grim finality. " _In that case, I will offer you some incentive._ "

The phone went dead.

L stared at his computer screen in surprise, and he could tell from Light's sharp intake of breath that he also had not been expecting the abrupt hang-up.

Worry gnawed at the edges of the detective's mind about what "incentive" Kira was referring to, but at the moment, that concern was completely overwhelmed by warm relief. L sagged back into his chair and removed his headphones. Closing his eyes briefly, he let out a deep sigh. Light was alive, and he hadn't betrayed him. All things considered, this was the best outcome that L could have hoped for.

This was also the first time that Kira had contacted a member of the task force directly. First Amane Misa, and now this? L couldn't help the small smile that grew over his face. Kira was getting sloppy.

* * *

About half an hour later, Watari reentered the room to inform everyone that Light was outside of the building, asking to be allowed inside.

"My son is here?" Yagami asked, brow furrowing in confusion.

"I've been expecting him," L reassured the Chief, and the older man's expression changed to pleasant surprise.

"Does this mean that my son is rejoining the task force?" he questioned hopefully as Watari exited the room to escort Light inside.

L was uncertain how to answer that; he had experienced an unexpected reversal in who he trusted. After that phone conversation, the detective was more confident than he had ever been that he could trust Light. However, his feelings of trust towards the task force had diminished significantly.

Kira knew that L and Light were close and that Light supported the killer's actions to some extent. While it was possible that he had obtained this information from an outside source, it was more likely that he got it from someone on the task force. L did not believe that anyone on the investigation team would betray them, but there were certain aspects of Kira's powers that had not been confirmed but could explain his current knowledge. Near the beginning of the case, several prisoners had died of heart attacks after performing some highly unusual actions, which had led the detective to believe that Kira had been conducting tests of some kind. With that evidence in mind, it wasn't much of a stretch to deduce that Kira could control his victims to some degree before he killed them.

In other words, L believed that someone on the task force, or perhaps more than one someone, was being forced to relay information to the murderer, probably without them even realizing or remembering it. He suspected that Kira had opted not to control Light because there was a time limit of some kind on his mind control abilities and that when time ran out, the victim died. It could take a long time to obtain L's name, and Kira could not risk killing Light until he had it. This left the rest of the task force as potential victims who were unwittingly working with their quarry. Unfortunately, the detective realized after searching his memory of the past several weeks and observing the other members while they worked, none of them appeared to be acting differently than usual. He wondered if Kira had given the controlled person or people the order to "behave normally."

The door on the far left side of the room opened and Watari stepped through, followed closely by Light. Without swiveling around, L examined his friend out of the corner of his eye. He was walking at a brisker pace than usual—most likely due to stress. After nodding graciously to Watari, Light walked up to the detective and came to a halt a couple of feet away from his chair.

"I'm sorry for showing up so suddenly," he apologized, morphing his face so that he appeared apologetic. "I know you told me that I couldn't visit task force headquarters—"

"Relax, Light-kun," L interrupted, turning his chair around so that the two geniuses faced each other. He smiled up at his friend. "I was planning on contacting you anyway. We've narrowed down our Kira suspects significantly in the last few weeks, and I would like your assistance in bringing this case to a close for good."

Confusion flitted swiftly across Light's face, followed shortly by suspicion.

"Well, I'd be happy to help," he said carefully, eyes studying L's facial expression closely as he did so. "I actually came here to ask if I could return to the task force, but it seems that my request won't be necessary after all."

"Precisely," L agreed, his smile widening and becoming more false. "Please join us. The others can fill you in on our current suspect list."

Light grinned, and his expression was as fake as L's. The detective could see that Light had reached the same conclusion as him: that someone in the task force was communicating with Kira. Openly discussing the phone call in front of the other members could spell trouble for Light's safety, so L decided that it was better to wait for now and then find a time later on when the two of them could talk alone.

Light moved to sit down in his usual chair next to L's, when they heard a startling gasp of pain. The detective turned with the rest of the team towards the noise and stopped breathing.

Yagami Soichiro stood off to the side, eyes wide, face pale, with one hand clutching at his heart.

L was just beginning to rise from his seat when the Chief's legs gave out and he fell to the floor.

"DAD!" Light screamed. He rushed over to his father and collapsed next to him, placing his hands on the older man's shoulders. "DAD!"

Yagami shuddered and clenched his fist around the fabric of his shirt, staring up at his son, who had started to sob. "Please," Light cried, clutching his father's shoulders with a desperation that shook every member of the task force. Tears were running down most of their faces now, and L stood frozen in shock, staring down at the scene before him.

The Chief opened his mouth and attempted to say something. Hurriedly, his son leaned down so that he would be better able to hear. "What, Dad?"

A short period of silence passed as Light listened to what his father had to tell him. Then he raised his head again and said, "Dad, I don't—"

Yagami shuddered again, but this time it was more violent. The hand that held the front of his shirt tightened…and then slowly released.

"No!" Light pleaded, shaking his father's shoulders slightly. "No, Dad! Dad, look at me! Dad! DAD!"

But Yagami Soichiro was no longer alive.

Light collapsed over his father's body, crying as he held him in his arms. The rest of the task force looked about on the verge of collapse as well as they surveyed the body of the man they had respected and cared for. Matsuda sobbed loudly while Mogi cried silently, his broad shoulders shaking. Aizawa was wracked with tears as well, but was trying to hold them back as he wrapped an arm around Ukita, who was in much the same state as Matsuda. Although he did not cry, Watari bowed his head out of grief and respect.

L didn't feel any tears come to his eyes, but an immense pressure began to build in his chest and his head. Taking deep breaths in an attempt to control himself, he stared wordlessly down at his friend, who in his grief appeared to have completely lost awareness of his surroundings.

The concept of loss was not alien to L, but the detective realized that Light was not as familiar with the feeling as he was.

Cautiously, unsure of himself, L walked towards the father and son. Once he reached the two of them, he slowly crouched down next to Light so that his knees were characteristically close to his chest. L reached out and hesitantly wrapped his arms around his friend. He was prepared for the teen to push him away, but Light didn't. Instead, he lifted up his head and stared into L's eyes, a look of complete devastation on his tear-streaked face.

"Isn't there anything we can do?" Light asked hopelessly, his voice already beginning to go hoarse. L tightened his embrace.

"I'm sorry."

At that response, Light sobbed more intensely and buried his head in L's shoulder. L held him quietly as his friend cried, and the helplessness that had filled him before returned and threatened to drown him.


	6. Narrowing it Down

**Author's Note:**

 **Thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed, and favorited! I appreciate the support.**

 **This chapter was particularly difficult to write, so please feel free to offer constructive criticism in your reviews, if needed.**

 **I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Everyone could feel a dark cloud pressing down on them, making it difficult to breathe or function normally.

The Yagami family was in the process of planning Soichiro's funeral, with the assistance of the other members of the task force. Although he wanted to help, Light still couldn't bring himself to look his red-eyed mother in the face.

Despite knowing mentally that his father's death was Kira's fault, he couldn't help but feel as though he had murdered him personally. Light kept returning to that phone call and cursed himself for not taking a different course of action. If he had pretended to go along with Kira's plan, then he could have worked as a double agent and everyone would have been safe. But with the shock of the sudden contact from Kira, the teen hadn't considered all of his options, and now his father was dead.

Light walked slowly down the carpeted hallway, listening to the soft thumps his shoes made as they met the soft surface. He reached a doorway, where Watari was waiting, dressed in a dark suit. After the two of them inclined their heads politely towards each other, the elderly man opened the door and Light stepped into the small room. While this space was still inside of task force headquarters, it was secluded off from the rest and difficult to find without instructions. The walls were a bland shade of white and the floor was covered in dull gray carpet. There was nothing inside the room except a small light that hung from the ceiling, files scattered on the floor, and L.

The detective sat on the carpet with his legs drawn up tight against his chest, as usual. He didn't immediately look up with Light walked in, nor did he move when Watari closed the door from the outside with a _click_. He appeared immersed in the contents of one of the files, so Light unfolded himself onto the ground opposite him and waited.

After a couple of seconds, L finally glanced up and met his friend's gaze. "You wanted to talk to me about something?" he asked, and the teen could hear the weight of the past several days' events in his voice.

"Yes," Light confirmed. After his father's body had been taken away, the teen had turned to L and quietly informed him that the two of them needed to talk in private. The detective had immediately agreed and arranged the meeting place, day, and time. Before his father died, Light had already been planning to discuss Kira's phone call with L; now that conversation was even more vital. "I wanted to talk to you about something that happened before my father died—something Kira-related."

"Go on," L urged quietly.

Light took a deep breath. "When I was at school, I got a phone call from someone who claimed to be Kira. He told me that he wanted to work with me. Specifically, he said that he needed me to find out your name." The teen paused, gauging his friend's reaction. L's facial expression remained the same: somber but focused. "I told him that I wasn't interested," Light continued, puzzled at the lack of surprise in his friend's visage at the first part of this explanation, "and he told me that he would provide an incentive to get me to cooperate. Not long after that, Dad…" Light's throat closed up as he struggled not to cry, and he quickly waved off L, who had reached out a hand to comfort him. "When Dad was—was dying, he said something. 'One down.' I'm assuming that was a message from Kira."

"Yes," L agreed, biting down on his thumb nail. "When he told you that killing your father was an incentive, he most likely meant that he would continue to murder people close to you until you uncovered my name. 'One down' was simply to ensure that his message got across." He bit down harder and his gaze intensified; Light got the sense that his friend was no longer really looking at him. "This is another rash move on Kira's part. I feel that we are very close to catching him now."

Light stared back at the detective, pondering his lack of reaction to learning about Kira's phone call and his clearly thought-out response to the teen's suggestion. As the truth slowly sank in, he sighed and wondered why he didn't feel angry.

"You bugged my phone, didn't you?"

Light registered the tiniest twitch at a corner of his friend's mouth. "I wanted to keep an eye on you while you weren't at headquarters."

The teen rubbed in forehead, feeling quite tired now. "So you heard that whole conversation. Any thoughts?"

"Nothing you haven't already considered, I'm sure," L replied, lifting his shoulders in a minute shrug. "Kira is most likely controlling someone or several people inside of the task force. Watari, you, and I are almost certainly not controlled. Your father may have been, but we have no way of finding out now. Regardless, Kira will have at least one person currently on the investigation team under his power. That leaves us with Aizawa-san, Matsuda-san, Mogi-san, and Ukita-san."

"Wait," Light cut in, holding up a hand to halt the forward momentum of the conversation. "I get you and me, but what makes you so certain that Watari shouldn't be on that list?"

"Simple, Light-kun," L responded, truly smiling this time. "Watari knows my real name. If Kira was controlling him, I would be dead."

Light felt himself blush in embarrassment, as that had not occurred to him. "Good point. So, I've been trying to think about how we might identify who is being controlled. The best I can figure is that we follow them, but I'm worried that if Kira finds out, he'll just have them killed."

"I reached the same conclusion," L agreed, removing his thumb from his mouth, "which is why I have determined that the best strategy is to disregard who is being controlled and continue following our current course of action—attempting to identify Kira." Reaching down one hand, the detective touched five files closest to him and pushed them towards Light. "Amane Misa is the key here. Over the past several weeks, I and the rest of the task force have been digging into her background. As far as we can tell, she had not committed any crimes, not even minor ones. This means that something most likely happened with her that caused Kira to panic and want her dead. In other words, Amane-san was killed because she posed some kind of threat to Kira, not because Kira felt that she deserved to die.

"We've been examining the people in Amane-san's life and attempting to figure out who has the greatest chance of being Kira based on their personalities, beliefs, and how they were connected to her." The detective nodded at the files in front of Light. "Those contain the information of the five people who have the highest percentages. I believe that one of them is Kira, but I would like your opinion as well. Take a look and let me know if you notice anything."

Light reached forward and grabbed the five folders, pulling them onto his lap. He flipped through the first, second, and third without comment, staring intently at the pictures of each candidate as if he would be able to determine who called him on the day of his father's murder just by looking at their faces. As he examined them, Light understood why L and the task force had narrowed their suspect pool down to these people. Close contact with Amane Misa on or near the day of her death, explicit support of Kira or a similar ideology… The only question now would be how to narrow down this list further—everyone appeared to be equally probable candidates.

Setting the third folder aside, Light reached for the fourth one and glanced at the name that was written at the top. He nearly dropped the file in shock.

"What is it?" L asked immediately, zoning in on his friend's face.

Light swallowed nervously before turning the front of the folder towards the detective and jabbing his finger at the name. "I know her."

L's eyes widened and he read the name aloud. "Takada Kiyomi. She is an intern at Sakura TV, which is where she met Amane Misa—Takada-san was assigned to be her guide during her day at the station. Of these five suspects, she spent the least amount of time with Amane-san, but her views on Kira and the fact that Amane-san died less than a week after they met made her one of the top suspects. How do you know her?" The detective's eyes met Light's again with the sharpness that came from intense focus.

Trying to hide how shaken he was, Light explained, "We go to school together—she's actually in one of my classes, but we don't really talk unless we're working together on an assignment." He paused, then continued hesitantly. "I didn't realize that she supported Kira."

"Like you, I don't think she advertises that piece of information," L stated bluntly, causing Light to cringe.

"Do you really think I still support Kira after what he did to my dad?" the teen asked. He tried to tinge his question with anger, but instead, it came out sounding weary.

L flinched slightly and Light was surprised to see a look of shame cross the detective's face. "My apologies, Light-kun," he murmured, lowering his eyes. "That was cruel."

Light licked his lips and hesitated a second before saying, "It's fine. So…" he continued, attempting to place the conversation on the right track again, "if she doesn't advertise that she supports Kira, then how do you know that she does?"

Placing his nail back between his teeth, the detective explained, "I had the other members of the task force put out some feelers and we learned that Takada-san pays much closer attention to Kira stories than any other news reports. She attempts to work on those assignments more than any of the others and she has verbally expressed excitement whenever Sakura TV learns of a new heart attack victim. Those things, combined with her connection to Amane Misa, make her a likely candidate. Now that I've learned she even knows you to some degree," L met his friend's eyes again, "I've increased her Kira percentage significantly." The young man reached forward, pinched the file between his fingers, and lifted it away from Light so that he was holding it in front of him. "We should focus our private investigation on her."

Light nodded his assent and suggested, "I could talk to her in class—try to get a feel for her."

"Yes," L agreed, also nodding. "But be careful. Kira has made it clear that he—or she—is perfectly willing to kill the people you care about if you don't start trying to uncover my name. Watch what you say or you might tip her off, and that would put the task force and your family in danger."

"I'll try, but I think I would do a better job of it if we collaborated on this," Light said, eyeing his friend to see if he understood what he was suggesting.

L smiled again. "How comfortable are you with listening devices?"

* * *

Light side-eyed the young woman sitting next to him and felt his heart begin to beat faster out of stress. When he had entered class today, the teen had made a point to sit next to Takada Kiyomi, and this action had not gone unnoticed by his classmates. Whispering and pointing had followed, as well as a few jealous looks from some of the men. Takada was quite picky with who she dated, and she had publicly turned down several offers, much to the humiliation of several guys in this particular class. The fact that she had allowed Light to sit next to her without comment meant that he was already doing better than them, so the teen wasn't surprised by the reaction.

Takada Kiyomi was beautiful in an icy kind of way; her short black hair, porcelain skin, and haughty expression were the primary reasons why she had been elected the new Ms. To-Oh and why she was the object of infatuation for various men and women across campus. Personally, Light had never felt much interest in her. He was always far more engaged in pushing his mental boundaries than in dating.

At the moment, however, Light found himself desperately wishing that the reason he was sitting next to her was to ask her out on a date.

" _Are you ready, Light-kun?_ " L asked, his voice sounding remarkably clear through the tiny microphone that was hidden in the teen's ear.

Light moved one of his fingers across the edge of his seat while frowning at his notes, knowing that his friend was watching through the cameras Watari had installed in the classroom. They had established a code of communication before beginning this interview.

" _Then please go right ahead._ "

Light straightened up in his chair and took a breath, telling his heart to calm down and attempting to forget that if Takada was Kira, then he was sitting next to the person who killed his father.

"What did you think of Ohba-sensei's lesson today?" he asked, turning so that he was partially facing his female classmate. Takada's eyebrows raised slightly as she met his gaze.

"Is that why you sat next to me, Yagami-san? So that we could talk about the lesson?"

Light allowed a sheepish smile to spread across his face in response to her bluntness, but inwardly he felt a bit unnerved. With the way Takada went straight for the point, the teen was suddenly reminded strongly of L.

"That's part of the reason," Light admitted. "I sat next to you because you're one of the few people in this class who I can actually have an intelligent conversation with." He stared warmly into her eyes and was pleased to see the tiniest hint of pride spring up in Takada's expression.

She coughed delicately before responding. "I could say the same about you, Yagami-san," Takada complimented, looking at him with slightly warmer appreciation now. "Unlike most of the people in this class, you actually seem to exercise your brain. What did _you_ think about today's lesson?"

Carefully trying to regain control of the conversation, Light answered, "I thought that Ohba-sensei made some good points about how the justice system is not as efficient as it once was. To be honest, I was surprised that he openly addressed the Kira element—I was under the impression that none of the professors were supposed to talk about it in school."

"Ohba-sensei is less of a coward than our other teachers," Takada stated flatly, glancing across the classroom to where the professor in question was talking to another student. "Regardless of how you personally feel about Kira, he needs to be discussed in relation to the justice system."

"I agree," Light contributed, starting to get into the flow of the conversation. "Since Kira started distributing his own form of justice, the way we deal with criminals has already started to change. People are posting names and photographs online, the number of offenders lessens every day, and the longer this continues, the more profoundly the justice system will transform."

"Indeed," Takada agreed, and she stared fully at Light now, a hint of a smile beginning to form on her face. "It sounds like you have developed a firm opinion on Kira. You support him, don't you?"

 _Déjà vu_ , Light thought.

"I'm not sure I would go that far," he said hesitantly. "I don't agree with everything Kira does, but I can appreciate where he is coming from. Far too many criminals go free or receive minimal punishment despite committing horrific crimes, so I suppose it's nice to see those people get what's coming to—"

" _Stop talking, Light!_ " L exclaimed into the earpiece, and Light stopped, startled.

"I guess so," Takada said, giving him a puzzled look. "It depends on whether or not you think the ends justify the means. I agree with you that it is satisfying to see these criminals finally brought to justice…"

" _Light-kun, if she is Kira…_ "

"…but at the same time, is it really fair to let one person decide who should die?"

 _"…_ _then she's probably realized what you're doing._ "

"I guess it depends on how close Kira's standard of justice and the world's standard of justice are," Light suggested, barely paying attention to what Takada was saying now as he intently listened to the voice on the other end of the earpiece.

" _If she's Kira, then she killed your father. In other words, she knows that you're not feeling too kindly towards Kira right now. The fact that you still maintain your general support of what Kira does despite your father's death is a red flag to her. If Takada-san is the murderer we are looking for, then she most likely knows that you are attempting to ascertain her identity._ "

Panic and embarrassment filled Light's chest and he could feel he face begin to warm up. How could he be so stupid! If Takada was Kira, then she probably wouldn't say anything incriminating, not now that he had tipped her off to his intentions. The teen deliberately tapped his pencil against the long table where he, Takada, and several other students were sitting. _Should we call this off?_

There was a pause on the other end of the earpiece before L said, " _Yes, I think you should back off for now. I'll have Watari follow her for the rest of the day._ "

Light and Takada talked for a little longer after that, with the teen carefully steering the conversation in a different direction before ending the discussion entirely. When he headed to task force headquarters that night, it was with dread growing in his stomach as he desperately hoped he hadn't condemned someone he knew to death.

* * *

L looked through Takada Kiyomi's file again, sitting in his usual swivel chair at task force headquarters. All he could do for now was wait—wait for Watari to contact him with news of any suspicious activity from Takada and wait for Light to arrive at the building. Unfortunately, he had been unable to convince the rest of the investigation team to leave early, as their determination to catch Kira had intensified since Soichiro's death. As a result, L was currently trying to think of some excuse he could provide to meet with Light again in the small room they had set aside for that purpose.

The chances of Takada being Kira had gone up, pushing her above the other candidates so much so that they were quite possibly very close to wrapping up this case. The problem was that they still didn't have any concrete evidence to convict her. Despite this dilemma, L considered arresting her anyway. Yes, the other task force members and possibly Light would see it as extreme, but the detective was beginning to feel desperate. If Takada Kiyomi was Kira, she might rashly kill someone for what happened at Light's school today, and even with Watari watching her, he might not be able to stop it.

The door on the left side of the room opened, and Light stepped through. The other task force members greeted him, but the teen ignored them. "Has Watari found anything?" he asked quietly as soon as he walked over to his usual seat.

"He hasn't contacted me yet," L replied, placing the file back onto the table. He glanced over at his friend, who had settled himself into the swivel chair. The teen appeared a bit paler than usual; stress darted over his face. "Don't feel too bad, Light-kun," L reassured him, staring at the other young man until he met his eyes. "It was more of my mistake than yours. If I had taken the time to coach you in what you would say to her, then this wouldn't have been a problem."

"If you say so," Light mumbled, breaking eye contact. "I'm just hoping that she's either not Kira or Watari finds something so that we can arrest her tonight."

L opened his mouth to respond when the room was suddenly filled with the sound that had haunted his nightmares during the last several days.

Gasps of pain.

The two geniuses whirled around and stared in horror as Aizawa, Ukita, Matsuda, and Mogi all grabbed at their chests. Matsuda collapsed on the top of the table opposite him, tears pouring down his face as he struggled to speak. Meanwhile, Ukita and Aizawa fell onto the floor, jerking with pain as Mogi silently bent over in his chair.

L and Light watched the scene before them, utterly speechless. Pain threatened to overwhelm the detective at the sight of all these dying people he cared about, and he climbed out of his chair in an effort to do something, even though he knew that there was nothing to be done. Light had also vacated his seat, and an expression of numb disbelief was spreading across his face as they both stood frozen in shock.

One by one, the four men fell silent and still.

Light and L stood there, the room filled now only with the sounds of their breathing. They did not move to check if any of them were still alive, nor did they turn to each other for comfort. For the first time in their lives, neither of them felt capable of thought.

This was why neither of them immediately noticed when the door opened again, and someone new stepped through.

"Well, this is unfortunate," Takada said cheerily, beaming at the distraught geniuses. "Don't you agree?"

Smiling, she held up a gun and pointed it at L's chest.

* * *

 **Next week: the Finale.**


	7. Killer

**Author's Note:**

 **Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, followed, and favorited! You all have been so supportive and encouraging, and I deeply appreciate it.**

 **As usual, constructive criticism is welcome. Please enjoy the final chapter!**

* * *

Light's mind refused to function properly. As soon as the rest of the task force's broken bodies had collapsed all over the room, his thoughts had become jumbled. The grief hadn't hit him with its full force yet—distantly, Light realized that he was probably in shock. Even when Takada stepped into the room, he barely registered her presence. Then she pointed a gun at L.

The world sharpened into focus.

"Takada-san!" Light shouted loudly, making both L and Takada jump in surprise. Slowly, the teen raised his hands in front of him. "This isn't a good idea," he pleaded, trying with all his might to sound persuasive. "If you shoot him, you'll leave behind evidence that could trace back to you." Light took a tiny step to his right, intending to grab L and push him to the side if necessary.

"I know," Takada said regretfully, pushing some of her hair behind an ear with her free hand. "I find it annoying, too, but my options have unfortunately run out." Turning her eyes back onto the detective, she asked, "So you're L, huh?" She glanced at his bare feet and then shifted her gaze to his messy black hair. "When Matsuda described you to me, I thought he was exaggerating…my mistake."

"You were controlling Matsuda-san, then?" L questioned, his tone of voice indicating that he was actually stating this information as fact. "You also controlled Yagami-san when he died. Did you have power over anyone else?"

Takada shrugged and replied in the negative. "I didn't _need_ anyone else."

She glanced back and forth between the two geniuses with a tiny bit of curiosity. "Matsuda also told me that you two were friends. That surprised me—to think that the great L had a need for friendship. Although now that I look at you, I can't help but feel like Light is the one settling here. Am I right?" Takada shot at the teen.

"Bite me," he replied. Not his wittiest comeback.

Takada tutted disapprovingly, then sighed and steadied the hand that was still holding the gun on L. "Well, let's get down to business."

"Before you shoot me," L interjected coolly, "May I inquire as to how you kill people? It's been one of the more puzzling aspects of the investigation, and it would be irritating to die without learning how you did it." Light risked a glance at his friend's face as he said this, and was impressed at how well the young man was hiding his fear.

"It was simple, sweetie," Takada said mockingly, staring at him with a hatred that she was only barely masking with cheerfulness. "I just wrote down some names." She chuckled as if enjoying her own personal in-joke, while Light's mind worked furiously. So Takada had to write down people's names in order kill them?

Suddenly the young woman's gaze tore away from the two geniuses and towards the far corner of the room. "Yes, I know!" she snapped, her good mood fading. L and Light exchanged a look. Was she hallucinating? If so, now might be a good time to—

"Okay, enough chat!" Takada announced irritably, turning her head abruptly back to the young men. "This is getting old." With that, she pulled the trigger.

* * *

 _BANG!_

L tried to move out of the way as fast as he could, but he knew he wasn't quick enough. Kira had thrown him off-guard with her sudden hallucination or whatever that was; now, he was going to pay for it. At this point, the detective could only hope that his movement would somewhat lessen the level of damage his body received.

As this train of thought shot through his mind at lightning speed, L suddenly felt a hand on his arm as he was shoved with a remarkable amount of strength. He skidded several feet to the side as two sounds reached his ears: the electrical crack of a bullet hitting one of the computer monitors behind them, and a gasp of pain.

Yet another gasp of pain.

L turned to look at his friend as if in slow motion, already knowing what he would see. Standing where the detective had been a second earlier, Light wobbled on his feet, staring down at the dark red blotch that was already staining his neat button-up shirt. The teen breathed in sharply once before his legs folded in on themselves and he began to fall. Without thinking, L dashed forward and wrapped his arms around Light's chest. The two of them collided with the floor, but the detective successfully protected his friend from most of the blow, pain cascading through his body as he did so. When L sat up and tried to get his breath back, his eyes met Light's and he froze.

Light was glaring at him, shooting him a look that mixed anger with panic. His message rang out loud and clear. _She's still going to shoot you, idiot!_

L leaned forward over Light, placing his palms on the floor. Then, with a quickness that he hoped would take Kira by surprise, he pulled himself into a handstand and whirled his foot into the space where he thought she was standing. Unfortunately, she was a bit farther away than the detective had anticipated, and his foot did not make contact with her. It did, however, make contact with her gun.

 _BANG!_

The gun went off again, but this time, the bullet shot off to the side, hitting very close to Mogi's body. Cursing loudly, Kira tried to turn the weapon on L again, but he was already running towards her.

L attempted to tackle her in a similar way that he had tackled Light, but he wasn't particularly successful. Kira was faster than he had given her credit for, and she spun out of his way. However, this movement pushed her slightly off-balance, giving the detective the opportunity to grab at the hand that was holding the gun. Startled, Kira dropped the weapon; L could hear the clatter as it hit the ground. He tried to move towards the gun, but it was his turn to be caught off guard as Kira saw what he was doing and pushed her hands against his chest with enough force to throw him against the edge of the table that he had been sitting at just minutes before. Out of the corner of his eye, L saw Matsuda's body fall onto the ground as a result of the impact and felt pain and grief rise up in him again.

Struggling to breathe after getting the air knocked out of him, the detective quickly darted his eyes around the floor for the gun, only to receive a sudden blow to the head from a large heavy object of some kind. The world went red. Struggling to stay on his feet and using the table as support, he looked up and saw Kira standing in front of him, holding a chair, of all things. L figured that she had chosen to pick up a nearby chair rather than attempt to find the relatively small gun on the dark floor out of convenience. Given her small stature, she wouldn't be able to hold the heavy piece of furniture for long, but it might not matter. After being slammed against the table and struck in the head, the detective was finding it challenging to remain on his feet. Unless he was able to incapacitate Kira soon, he could find himself in Light's situation very quickly.

 _Light_. Yet another reason why this fight needed to be wrapped up as soon as possible. With the stomach wound, it would take the teen longer to bleed out than if he had been shot directly in the heart, but not that much longer. He needed to be taken to a hospital _now_.

Still swaying a bit on his feet, L grabbed at the chair and successfully wrapped one of his hands around a metal leg. He then attempted to kick Kira in the face, but his head wound throbbed, resulting in him missing entirely as he gasped and doubled over. In response, Takada shoved the chair towards his skull again, her visage screwed up in fury. Moving swiftly, L dodged it this time, but not before colliding with the swivel chair he had been sitting on before and collapsing on the floor. Pain crackled through his left thigh as it took most of his weight and he groaned involuntarily. Breathing heavily, the detective looked up just as Kira approached him. She was still holding the chair, and her expression wavered between hatred and excitement.

"I don't suppose you'd like to tell me your name now, would you?" Kira asked jokingly, cocking her head to the side as she tightened her grip on the chair.

Just as L was trying to think of an appropriately scathing comeback—

 _BANG!_

The detective jumped in surprise as the gun went off behind him and Kira suddenly stilled. The odd mixture of expressions melted off her face to be replaced with shock and confusion as she, in an almost mirror image of Light, turned her gaze onto her now bleeding chest. The chair slipped from her fingers and toppled onto the floor.

Realizing what must have happened, L twisted around to look at his friend. Light was sitting up with some difficulty, hunched over and bleeding profusely. With one hand, he attempted to staunch the flow of blood. With the other, he pointed the gun directly at Kira. He was trembling, both from the pain and from the hatred that was clearly displayed across his face. His visage was screwed up into a practically unrecognizable mask of fury and loathing, and for the first time during this confrontation, L felt a thrill of fear that had nothing to do with Kira.

 _BANG!_

Light pulled the trigger again.

 _BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!_

Kira's body jerked as bullet after bullet tore through her before she finally collapsed in a heap on the floor. Wearily, Light relaxed and fell onto his back again as L watched, speechless and unable to process his thoughts.

After a moment, the detective attempted to stand, but the pain in his head was too intense, so he settled for crawling towards where Kira lay on the floor. He checked her pulse to be sure, but he didn't really need to—her eyes were open, staring at nothing, with that expression of shock and confusion frozen permanently on her face. Once he confirmed that she was dead, L turned around and crawled over to Light. The teen was clearly struggling to hold onto consciousness as blood continued to pour out of him; the gun hung limply in his hand.

"Thank you," L said, quickly putting one of his hands over Light's wound as he reached for the cell phone in his pocket with the other.

"No problem," Light groaned, his voice just barely over a whisper. Noticing how unfocused his friend's eyes were, L hastily pulled out his cell phone and called for an ambulance, desperately hoping that one of the few people he had left wouldn't leave him, too.

* * *

One Week Later

Having just awoken, Light hissed in pain as he attempted to sit up in his hospital bed. Slightly exasperated at his fellow genius's continued insistence on pushing himself too far, L leaned over from where he was curled up on a chair beside the bed and insistently forced the teen to lay back again.

"If you continue to do that, Light-kun, you will start bleeding and they will have to take you to surgery again," he pointed out, popping his strawberry-flavored lollypop into his mouth when he was finished speaking.

Light looked like he wanted to roll his eyes. "Sitting up won't hurt me that much—stop exaggerating, Ryuzaki." Reluctantly, he continued lying flat on the bed, glancing around the room. "Where's Mom and Sayu?"

"Off getting lunch."

The teen raised an eyebrow. "And what did they have to say about the mask?"

L tugged on the _slightly_ inaccurate mask of himself that he had brought into the hospital. "They just think I'm eccentric. I didn't tell them who I was, obviously."

"Yeah, that could be bad," Light agreed, picking absentmindedly at the bandage wrapped around his stomach. Suddenly, a light clicked on in the teen' eyes, as if he remembered something.

Turning to face L, Light said, "So…I believe we agreed that today we would talk about the Kira case? My health situation is much less life-threatening now, so you can't use that excuse anymore. Did you find out how Takada-san was killing people?"

The detective shrugged uncomfortably, finding it difficult to meet his friend's eyes. "It remains unclear. I find the situation extremely unsatisfying." He sighed deeply and licked the lollipop. "At least Watari is safe."

"How'd she give him the slip, anyway?" Light inquired.

L smiled grimly, even though he knew his friend couldn't see it through the mask. "She set her house on fire."

The teen's eyes widened and he stared at L incredulously. "You mean, as a distraction?"

The detective nodded. "Watari believes that we should not allow people to die when we have the opportunity to save them, even if saving them interferes with the case. He was still busy trying to rescue Kira's family when Kira herself came knocking on our door."

Light closed his eyes and pressed his palms against his face, and a silence passed between the two of them. "I wish we could find out how she killed those people," he finally said. "What if we encounter someone like that again? We still won't know how to deal with it. Yes, we ended up defeating her, but more out of luck than anything else, and not before losing—" The teen's voice broke and he looked at his hands. "I just…" Light continued, "I just wish we knew more. Then we could be more effective at stopping people like her in the future."

L nodded again, and guilt stabbed at his heart.

* * *

While Light was being taken away by the ambulance and the other bodies were being gently zipped into body bags, the detective had surreptitiously searched Kira to see if he could find any clue as to how she killed. During this search, he had discovered a plain black notebook with the words "Death Note" written across the cover. L had hastily found his chance to slip away and he decided to hide in the plain room where he and Light had discussed the case just a few days ago. The detective had then started reading through the notebook, and his reality had crumbled around him.

The power to kill by writing someone's name in this book while picturing their face…it was almost too much for L to take at first, until he started considering everything that had been confusing about this case and realized that the Death Note explained quite a bit. How Kira killed, why it had been so challenging to discover her…answers to several of the detective's major questions flooded his mind and filled him with a feeling that resembled relief.

Unfortunately, this emotion was short-lived because he received another shock when he looked up from his reading to see…

"Hi," the black-haired creature greeted cheerily, waving ironically. "How's it going?"

It was fortunate that L was still sitting down due to the pain in his head, or he might have collapsed right there and then.

"You—" L choked out, unable to take his eyes off the thing that had suddenly appeared before him. "You—what are you?"

"You're a sharp one," the monster commented sarcastically, floating several feet off the floor. "I'm a Shinigami. The name's Ryuk. Nice to meet you, L Lawliet." He chuckled at the stunned expression on L's face. "Didn't expect that, did you? All Shinigami can see human names and lifespans. You can't keep them a secret from us."

Rapidly recovering his composure, the detective's eyes narrowed. "If you know my name," he asked cautiously, "then why didn't you tell Kira what it was? You were what she was talking to earlier, correct? I'm guessing that only someone who touches this," L held up the Death Note, "can see and interact with you."

Ryuk shrugged and floated to the side so that it looked like he was lying on air. "Shinigami are forbidden to tell humans other humans' names," he explained casually. "Not that I would have given Takada-chan those names even if it was allowed. It would have ruined the fun!" Ryuk laughed heartily, and the detective found himself wondering whether or not gods of death could be killed.

"If you've been with Kira while she was murdering people," L interrupted, deciding that it was time to obtain more answers since the Shinigami appeared to be in a talkative mood, "I'm guessing you know what happened to Amane Misa?"

Ryuk laughed harder, doubling over in midair. "Oh, _that_! That was hilarious! Takada-chan was _so_ confident that she would never be caught, when this blonde model walks right up to her and announces that she knows Takada-chan is Kira!"

"How did she find out?"

"You know how Shinigami can see human names?" Ryuk said. "Well, humans can see human names, too, if they give up half their lifespan for Shinigami eyes. The model had the eyes, so she could see everyone's names and lifespans…except for Takada-chan's lifespan. With Death Note users, only their names are visible with the eyes. That's how the blonde girl found out who she was—just by looking at her!"

"So Kira panicked, as I suspected," L murmured, more to himself than to the Shinigami as he struggled to take in all of this new information. He turned his gaze onto Ryuk again and asked, "So what are you planning to do now that Kira is dead?"

The god of death finally stopped laughing and shot the detective a quizzical look. "I'll be following you around, won't I? You were the first person to touch my Death Note after Takada-chan died, so that makes you the new owner."

"Me?" L asked, surprised. He gazed down at the black notebook and felt disgust rise within him, along with some bile. "I'm not interested in being the new owner," the genius said shortly.

Ryuk shrugged. "Makes no difference to me. You could always give it to someone else."

L remembered the look of hatred on Light's face as he pulled the trigger over and over again.

"I'm not giving this to anyone," he said flatly, forcing himself to stand up. "I have a better plan."

A short time later, L watched as the lit match he held in his right hand caught the Death Note on fire. The notebook burned down to nothing, not even leaving ashes behind.

* * *

Now, as the detective stared at his friend lying wounded and frustrated in a hospital bed, a fist tightly gripped his stomach.

"I also wish we had more information regarding Takada-san's method of killing," L lied. "Unfortunately, it may always remain a mystery."

* * *

 **The End.**

 **Please let me know if you'd like an epilogue. If not, this concludes A Killer's Mindset. I hope you all enjoyed it! **


End file.
